Bobby “Veggie Head” Parsnips brainwashes children!!!

It freaks me out that, in our modern age, religious nut jobs are doing their damnedest to fool future generations into believing in god and all the subsequent fallacies before they’ve even had a chance to think for themselves, perpetuating religious idiocy! This fucker you see below is coming to South Africa and stopping in up the hill from me, this month… I should be there with a sack of rocks!

look at this scum bag...

Who is this beast? This corruptor of childish things? This thief of free thought and curiosity? This fucking superstitious peasant teaching people how to brow beat children into a belief system that is more and more at odds with humanity’s progress? This is Rob Parsons. A lawyer… and a dispenser of lies and irrationality on behalf of the Anglican Church. He writes books like, “The Money Secret” followed by the fucking awfully titled piece of shit, “Getting Your Kids Through Church Without Them Hating God”. I’d be surprised if even a Christian didn’t raise an eyebrow at this dude talking about Christianity. I don’t claim to be an expert on the bible, but anyone with a year or two of Sunday school under their belt could tell you that Jesus, kinda the pivotal character in the Christian bible, made a rather big fucking deal about the rich going to hell, and the poor being blessed. Being poor = good, being rich = bad. How you go from telling people how to get rich, and then claim to have some expertise on how to get in to heaven, seems more than a little at odds even to the most gullible of morons.

worked for superman... not so much for jesus.

Bobby Parsnips, which is what I will call this ridiculous person from now on because a ridiculous man deserves a ridiculous name. Pushed out a turd. Called it a book. Then built a business around it, not unlike his other business which he aims at business people… You see, Bobby was doing corporate and business seminars before he started in on the ministry type stuff. It’s not a huge assumption to make, that he simply expanded on his seminar topics when he saw how lucrative the self-help industry was when aimed at Christians. All he did was tailor his offering to suit a different target market. A market that was already as gullible as 5 year olds and prone to believing twaddle, and a 1000 times bigger than that of businesses looking to improve the lives of their executives beyond office hours. Call me over cynical if you like, but to anyone with a mild sense of what marketing is about, that sounds just like smart business…

The shadiness of Bobby’s intentions aside, it is the very topic of which he is venturing to South Africa to speak on, is what has me slamming my keys and spitting. To me, if a kid ends up hating god, it just means they’re an intelligent, curious kid! They came to the only logical conclusion they could possibly reach, after hearing all sides, which is that religion is a fucking fairy tale for grownups. Old Bobby gets it wrong from the title, those kids don’t hate god at the end of it, because you can’t hate what isn’t real. You can’t have strong feelings either way about a fictional character. What they hate, in reality, is religion. They probably resent their parents… That’s just teenagers for you. Now what Bobby proposes is that the normal thoughts that will lead any normal kid to getting to the point of chucking religion out altogether, is to pre-empted these ideas, and have a strings of dogma and lies to dispel the doubts by using familiar things to kids, like Mario Brothers and “Hip” lingo… He’s loosing the fight already because I think if you gave a minor the old school platform Mario Brothers game today, they’d throw the game controller at our head.

Nothing regular about being a stup with feet

why is everything the christians design so shit???

Despite his badly thought out delivery, his message is still dangerous. Kids growing up in a Christian home, or any religious home for that matter, have a hard enough time shaking off their parents’ and community’s normalised beliefs as is, simply because of pressures to conform. Before you try tell me, “When kids get to a certain age they get a choice to either commit to god or not”, its bullshit, because the offer only comes up after being told from a young age they have to do this or that, or else they’ll burn forever, and way before the rest of society will let them make any decision that will effect the rest of their lives for a minimum of 5 years still. Questioning what they’re told about religion too much, gets them on the road to damnation or the more immediate punishment of disapproval of their folks. The religious go as far as to tell people that doubts about god are planted by the devil, to trick them in to falling out of favour with the man in the sky… It’s like a failsafe built in to religious programming to prevent the smarter ones from escaping. It teaches them to fear their own thoughts for fuck sake! Preventing kids from asking questions about anything in trying to understand the world around them is fucking criminal! It’s child abuse! It’s brainwashing!!! Here then comes this fucking Bobby Parsnips with his nefarious teachings, sold to parents, preachers and paedophiles willing to fork over the money, on how to nip those bright young minds before they catch on that their religion is one big farce.

If the tables were turned, and this Bobby “Vegetable Head” Parsnip’s were here to liberate young people from oppressive, backward churches, religious groups across the country would be bussing in to protest at the event. They’d be marching in the streets. They’d be gathering in their churches praying in circles and lighting candles. They’d be sending out chain mails that would circulate faster than dirty pictures of your girlfriend on the internet. What do atheists do? One fucking guy writes a blog post… Just goes to show… We atheists have got way better shit to do.

better than going to church

this is still better than going to church


1 Response to “Bobby “Veggie Head” Parsnips brainwashes children!!!”

  1. 1 Pascal
    February 10, 2012 at 8:50 am

    Love the final thought “this is stil better than church”!

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